Dark Avengers #7

As a microcosm of the issue as a whole, let's just look at some "Fraptions" (the captions that Matt Fractions insists on using, every issue, to reintroduce us to most of the characters).

"Ty Johnson--Cloak. Darkforce teleporter. Not really a team player."

And Cloak's only lines of dialogue are "Yes. Sorry." How is he "Not really a team player"? And how is that even relevant?

"Calvin Montgomery Rankin--Mimic. Powers of the original five X-Men, mimics other powers in proximity. Really happy to be here."

First of all, I REALLY appreciate that Fraction took the time to relay Mimic's middle name to us. Wow, that's really important stuff. His only line of dialogue is "Cool off, Hammil." So how does that jive with his being "Really happy to be here?" Why do we need to be told that information, when Mimic's happiness doesn't play out in this issue and isn't important here at all? This is characterization?

"Scott Summers--Cyclops. Leader of the X-Men. Owner of a jetpack."

As if it weren't enough to show Cyclops WEARING a jetpack, Fraction thinks he better tell us that Cyclops owns this jetpack that he's wearing, which has an "X" logo on it. This redundancy is supposed to be clever, I guess. What's next, "Wolverine. He has claws"? I don't find it clever. I find it inane. "Owner of a jetpack" is a completely worthless little set of words. So why are they being communicated to about a hundred thousand readers? Matt Fraction may as well have sent out a mass spam-email or something--just more tripe no one wants to read but we all have to wade through.

"Dr. Karla Sofen--Ms. Marvel. Team leader. Hooks up with everything that moves."

This is probably the worst one. Nothing about her powers. The conceit that she's a "doctor". And then the degradation that she's a slut... Admittedly I don't know the character all THAT well, but I've read probably a dozen comics with this character in them, and I've never seen her even act slutty, LET ALONE seen her actually "hook up" with ANYONE, to say nothing of her hooking up with "EVERYTHING that moves"--a phrase that's cliche, by the way. And GOOD writing should not employ many, if any, cliches.

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In the previous chapter of "Utopia" Matt Fraction saw fit to quote from the novel "1984" by George Orwell. It's difficult to tell whether Fraction has actually read that book, though, because the line he quoted was from the very first sentence of Orwell's work, and the particular line makes little sense given the context in which Fraction used it.*

Regardless, since Fraction is apparently such an astute Orwell fan, he really should read an essay that Orwell wrote called "Politics in the English Language". That essay will tell you why cliches, dead metaphors, and inexact babbling language are--surprisingly--bad things, actually, because they lead to lazy thoughts, which in turn can easily lead to real-world problems, however small. Instances of lazy language are bad. Not cute. Not funny. Not interesting. Bad. Lazy. Stupid. Writers should actually try to avoid lazy writing, unless the point of putting a cliche into a character's mouth is to make that character seem like a weak-minded idiot. Y'know, kind of like how the supposed "leader of mutantkind", Cyclops, is in Dark Avengers #7 reduced to a moron who (inexplicably) smiles and spouts off the banal phrase "Take me to your leader". It's enough to make anyone who's ever respected the character of Cyclops, anyone who's ever seen him portrayed as a thoughtful tactician in years past, feel cheated and dismayed.

Language, Orwell says, "becomes ugly and inaccurate because our thoughts our foolish, but the slovenliness of our language makes it easier for us to have foolish thoughts. The point is that the process is reversible. Modern English, especially written English, is full of bad habits which spread by imitation and which can be avoided if one is willing to take the necessary trouble."

It's not too late, Matt. You've got a lot of interesting ideas going. Unfortunately all of your supposedly admirable, righteous mutant protagonists--no matter how supposedly sexy and sophisticated--continually reveal themselves to be very ugly and very foolish people, all because of the ugly and foolish words that you put in their mouths. You use these words with the misguided intent of making your stories and characters seem edgy, relatable and hip. In other words, you turn heroes into posers. It's sad to watch.


*Professor X quoted "The clocks are striking thirteen" to Beast. This would make sense if the big problem was that Norman Osborn was forcing everyone in San Francisco to use military time. But actually Professor X and Beast were imprisoned, and on the verge of being tortured, so maybe anyone who actually read "1984" would instead choose to quote something about "Room 101"? Y'know, since "Room 101" is where they tortured prisoners in "1984". And the clocks "striking thirteen" have nothing to do with the situation. But I guess if you were just going to open "1984" with the intent on quoting from it, for no reason other than to look smart, then you'd probably just go with a quote from the first sentence.